Imposter syndrome is one of the weirdest things about being a full-time author. It’s just super bizarre because we feel imposter syndrome regardless of where we are in our career. I definitely thought that there would be a point when I would just not feel imposter syndrome anymore, but the last three or four weeks have illustrated for me that imposter syndrome has nothing to do with the environment and the feedback that you’re getting. It has everything to do with your perception of the world.
And I also want to highlight something that I think imposter syndrome is trying to tell us and that makes imposter syndrome actually really helpful. Bear with me, though, because it’s not immediately apparent, I don’t think.
First of all, the unfortunate truth is that everybody feels like an imposter, especially as you get better in your craft. When you see weaknesses, often you start to feel like, man, I should be better than this already. I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I should have already worked this out or gotten through this, or I can’t believe I made that mistake again. All sorts of things, right?
But imposter syndrome is ultimately a false way of looking at the world. It’s a way of looking at the world that takes a skewed perspective, that does not take into consideration where you started. In a previous video, I talked about the gain and the gap, right? And how we most often measure ourselves with the gap. How far away from my objective am I? But really, it’s better to measure with the gain. How far have I come from where I started?
Imposter syndrome is a gap measurement. It’s saying, man, I should be better than I am, and people are going to discover that I’m actually not very good. And you’d think that if you had, you know, let’s say almost 200,000 reviews across all of your books, with a very high average rating, that you wouldn’t fall prey to those sorts of thoughts. But you do. I mean, I do. I still struggle with imposter syndrome. I still struggle with feeling like I’m just not a good writer.
This is how messed up it is, though. Okay. I just released a book, Battlemage Farmer 8. It’s pretty good. You should go check it out. But I just released this book, and it’s got a 4.8 on Amazon. It’s got a bunch of reviews, and people are saying some really nice things about it, which I very much appreciate. Thank you so much to my readers. But people are saying some really great things about it. And yet, I look at it, and I think to myself, maybe I’m not a very good writer.
As soon as I had that thought, I realized that the circumstances don’t matter. Whether the book is well-liked or not well-liked isn’t important. The thing that’s driving my imposter syndrome is something else. Is something else. Really, it’s because I’m measuring that gap. I’m not measuring the gain.
And this can be illustrated because I remember the first time I released a book, it got a 4.5 rating, lower than 4.8, and had way fewer reviews. And I was so happy. I was so excited. And I remember thinking to myself, wow, I’m a real writer. People actually like what I write. Isn’t that weird, though? I wrote an objectively better book that people like even more, and yet, I feel worse about it.
This is why I think it’s so important that we understand the lens through which we’re looking at the world. That we understand the lens through which we are examining everything that’s happening to us. Because the same circumstances viewed through a different lens just look completely different.
If I was measuring the gain instead of the gap, looking at this book that I just released wouldn’t have awoken feelings of failure in me, wouldn’t have awoken imposter syndrome in me. Instead, I’d be looking at it and thinking to myself, wow, I’m actually doing really well. This is going way better than I had any right to expect. Not only that, but my writing is getting better. I’m making progress.
So I think that the big takeaway from this video is just pay attention to how you’re looking at the world. Don’t blindly accept your first thought. Don’t blindly accept the sort of first thing that springs to mind, or the first feeling that wells up. Instead, take a moment, breathe, and re-examine it. Are you measuring the gap? Are you measuring the gain? Is this, is this, is the idea that has awoken in you actually legitimate? Or is it a skewed way of looking at the world that discounts everything else?
But now I want to talk about why I think imposter syndrome might actually be a good thing. Often when we have an emotion, when we feel something, especially when it relates to our writing or to a creative work that we’re working on, that emotion exists for a reason. It’s there to alert us to something, right? The emotion is not the point. The emotion happens because there’s something that we need to pay attention to and we’re not paying attention to it.
And that might be that you’re out of integrity with yourself. So for instance, if you’re creating something and you start to feel really discomforted by it, or you start to feel a whole lot of resistance to continuing, it might be that you’re out of integrity with yourself, you’re trying to create something that isn’t actually true to who you are.
If you write something and you start to feel imposter syndrome, it could be that subconsciously you’re actually picking up on problems that you don’t necessarily know how to fix yet, or problems that you just sort of ignored and pushed aside. Imposter syndrome is sort of like a flag that your subconscious waves every time it says, Hey, you could be really good at this. You could be better at this than you are.
In light of this sort of new way of understanding imposter syndrome, feeling like an imposter just means that I have to examine my writing more critically. I have to take a moment and say, what is it specifically about this that makes me feel like an imposter? What is it specifically that makes me feel like people won’t like it? What is it specifically that I think I might be able to improve in my writing?
Because that’s the thing about being an imposter, is that you’re afraid somebody is going to find you out. They’re going to find out that you’re actually not as good as you’re pretending to be. Okay, so if that’s the case, if that’s what my subconscious is telling me, then how do I figure out what it is that I need to work on? How do I figure out what it is that I can improve?
I don’t think that there’s necessarily a tried and true method beyond just working on it, beyond just sitting down and thinking to yourself, okay, with this last book that I wrote or with this book that I’m working on, what is it that I think could be improved? Where am I not measuring up to the idea that I have in my head?
Now I’m also a huge fan of not going back and rewriting and then going back and rewriting and going back and rewriting. And instead, I’m a fan of moving forward. So when I note those things down, when I write them down as things that I need to work on or improve, then I’m just going to take them forward with me to work on in the next book.
To give you a concrete example, I just finished a book and I realized that there isn’t a concrete villain in it. And every time I read a book, I think, oh man, I see who the villain is. I think it’s really cool how the characters interact, but you need a hero and a villain for that. Maybe I don’t write real books because I don’t write villains, or at least I don’t write one major villain per book.
And see, that’s imposter syndrome speaking. I can write books without villains. My books without villains do really, really well. There’s no, there’s nothing wrong with writing the way I write. But again, imposter syndrome says, but you don’t do villains. Okay, hold on. Let’s unpack that. What is my imposter syndrome trying to tell me?
Well, maybe it’s trying to tell me, hey, Seth, you could probably work on your villains in your stories and improve them even more. That doesn’t mean that I have to abandon my way of writing and all of a sudden write villains or one major villain for every book, but when I think about it, I definitely could make my villains stronger.
And so that’s what I’m going to take into my next book. I can accept that my villains aren’t the best, and I can accept that working on that specifically is going to help me improve, which means that I just have no need for imposter syndrome anymore.
Now, that doesn’t mean it’s going to go away. In fact, it might come roaring back in with some other major complaint to highlight a weakness in my writing. So rather than making the emotion the important thing and dwelling in my imposter syndrome, I’m just going to say, okay, thanks for the note, and I’ll move on.
I’m going to continue to improve as a writer. I’m going to continue to work on these specific things. And even if my imposter syndrome comes back, that’s okay. That’s just another thing to improve.
But I’m curious about you. Is there a particular thing that strikes at you when you feel like an imposter? If so, let me know and also let me know how you’re planning on addressing whatever that weakness in your writing is. How are you going to work on it? I’d love to know so I can cheer you on.
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YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/xdU6Ev1RxH4
Thanks for reading and watching.
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